More on Grits: Nassau Style

Kassie says:

This is (unknown to me until, like, when I tried looked for the recipe for Julia) a recipe particular to my home town. This is our family recipe for it. If I could find the one the old ladies at First Methodist had, I would share that one with you because it's legendary.

Where I come from we eat white grits, I'm sure if you wanted to do it with yellow grits, you could adapt it (I like stone ground grits myself, so I wouldn't blame you if you did).

• Bacon--this is to taste, do you really like bacon? Then cook a lot of bacon (from a half pound to a pound),
• 1 onion
• 1 green pepper (lots of people hate green pepper, so figure this bit out--if you hate it, try to substitute a colored pepper!)
• 1 cup of ham (or, as above, however much you want) [we always had home baked ham laying around or at least in the freezer, so I assume the taste will vary greatly depending on the kind of ham you use. I would never buy that shrink wrapped ham slab that I've seen at the grocery--what is that thing FOR? anyway, a lot of people have ham at the holidays and wonder what to do with all of it--freeze the shit and thaw it out for tastiness later)
• 1 smaller can of tomatoes (not the big honking one, the normal to vegetables sized one) OR 1 can Rotel (do it this way, for real)
• garlic (this you will have to determine yourself as I have no idea how much you personally like garlic) from 1 clove to three
• 3/4-1 cup uncooked grits

Cook the bacon. Chop the stuff that needs it. Drain bacon and set aside. Drain most of the bacon grease off. Cook the onion and bell pepper in the bacon grease. When the onion looks done enough, dump in tomatoes (with juice), garlic (I cut up whole canned tomatoes with a kitchen knife, my Aunt Nora mushed them with her fingers), and ham. Cook that down while you cook the grits according to the package directions. When the grits are creamy (I pity people who don't already know how to cook grits on the stove because I'm not about to explain that right now), dump in the tomato-ham mixture.

Douse this with hot sauce, stir, crumble bacon over the top when you dish it up. (I'm sure we could find a way to add cheese and at least one more pork product if we tried, but it's great as is, trust me).

Julia says: SO DELICIOUS. When I made it in the picture above, I ended up spooning the tomato-ham mixture on top. My cat almost ripped my face off to get at it.

Grits Two Ways: Yankee and Redneck (with bonus notes on Kraft Garlic Cheese)

Grits is not something I grew up eating. I didn't really know what it was other than some exotic dish mentioned in books set in the South. Eventually I met Southerners who would wax poetic about grits, but also insist you couldn't get the real thing above the Mason-Dixon line. Since I avoid traveling down South, I didn't taste them until a couple years ago when I visited a friend in Atlanta, GA. I had grits with cheese several times and found out I loved it. When I returned from my trip I decided to try making them at home. Alton Brown did an episode of "Good Eats" about grits, and well. My evil plan came together

Alton Brown's "Yankee" Grits

2 cups whole milk
2 cups water
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 cup coarse ground cornmeal (I use Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
4 ounces sharp Cheddar, shredded

Place the milk, water, and salt into a large, heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat and bring to a boil. Once the milk mixture comes to a boil, gradually add the cornmeal while continually whisking. Once all of the cornmeal has been incorporated, decrease the heat to low and cover. Remove lid and whisk frequently, every 3 to 4 minutes, to prevent grits from sticking or forming lumps; make sure to get into corners of pot when whisking. Cook for 20 to 25 minutes or until mixture is creamy.

Remove from the heat, add the pepper and butter, and whisk to combine. Once the butter is melted, gradually whisk in the cheese a little at a time.

I *love* these grits. Strangely my cat also adores them will all but claw off my face to get herself some. I like having grits for breakfast with scrambled eggs and hot sauce on top.


Kassie was born and raised in the South and insists that the Alton Brown's recipe is yankee nonsense and grits are supposed to be baked and shouldn't be made with milk. I've pointed out that Alton Brown is from Georgia, but Kassie countered that she is a redneck and clearly knows best. This is her recipe for grits.


Kassie's Southern Grits

Cook a cup of stone ground grits in three cups chicken broth. As needed, add more broth. You need to cook it at least a half hour, but you can keep adding broth and stirring for a long time. If you're cooking something else just add broth by the half cup as you're cooking other things.

When you're finished with everything else, add either garlic powder to taste (this is the authentic redneck method) or a pulped clove of fresh garlic. If you add fresh garlic, cook about ten minutes more (adding broth and stirring) to cook the garlic a bit. Remove from heat and add two tablespoons of butter.

Return to heat and add an asston of cheese (this is a real measurement). You don't have to use cheddar (but usually people do), you can use pepper jack or farmer's cheese or combos--go buck wild (sorry but no Kraft Garlic Cheese*, though)! When the cheese is melted, add another half cup of liquid (you can use water or milk or broth, to taste) and some hot sauce (to taste), and dump the whole shebang in a greased (here I will admit to buttering the dish not Paming it) and bake at 400F for like a half hour or until browned or until you can stand it.

Be prepared to fight people off your plate.


*My mom said she couldn't find Kraft Garlic Cheese and told me to go online and order it. Yeah, how about I go on the internet and investigate? [Does so.] Holy shit, they stopped making it and there's a riot all over the internet! WHAT THE FUCK????????? How could they just stop making this stuff? If you aren't Southern (and here I'm being American-centric as usual) you probably have no idea what discontinuation of this product means, but this is disastrous for tons and tons of family recipes. *weeps* Cheese balls are like my treasured most favorite holiday food! (It's disgusting, I know, but I'm sure you have some crap food you love, too.)